Surviving Recruiting Duty
Recruiting duty.
When we came into this, I was all business with my planning and organizing. I was hopeful and optimistic, and probably a little naïve. I had it in my mind that hubby’s MOS, which involved very frequent and sometimes lengthy field ops and late nights, had somehow groomed me for this duty. I was thankful that it happened when it did as our kiddos are still very young and even though they don’t understand, they won’t remember much of it. I won’t lie, the first few months were tough, really tough. I held down the fort, we explored our new area, got involved in the community and activities. We stayed busy to pass time. Those things really helped.
Meanwhile, Hubby did his thing. He is one of those people who puts his whole self into whatever task he’s handed. He was determined to figure this out and do it well. He is harder on himself than any superior ever could be and seeing that weigh on him might be the hardest aspect for me. But, we both knew it would take time to settle in, so despite the stress and frustration, late nights, and lack of family time, we persisted.
The kids and I would randomly drop by and hide surprises in his truck for him to find at the end of the day. I would be cheesy and send funny and motivational memes and jokes. The boys took pictures and videos for him. We made the most of any time we did have together and tried hard not to think about those moments ending or what the next day would bring.
Now that we are more than a year in, I would like to say the job has gotten easier or the hours have gotten better. But that’s probably not true. I think that this job is very difficult for everyone, for the Recruiter and the family. We knew that coming in. Instead of it getting easier, I think we’ve gotten stronger. We’ve gotten smarter. We’ve adjusted. We’ve persisted.
There is a lot about this duty that can bring you down, that can drag clouds over your day, your week, your month, etc. There are so many out there that allow this to happen. When we began, and still today, I’ve chosen to make the most of what we’re handed. Yes, it sucks. Yes, sometimes it makes me sad and angry. But does entertaining those feelings do anything for me, my kids, my husband, or our situation? No, not at all.
I get asked a lot, “How do you do it?” Despite what I’m told a lot, I’m not Superwoman. The truth is, I’ve found and built a great support system here that gets me through those times. My village helps me, encourages me, and is there for me to lean on whenever I need them. Also, I know that this is temporary. This will be over before we know it. Someday we will look back on this time and laugh and joke about the memories. I still take time to drop off surprises to hubby and send him pictures and videos to cheer up his day, even though sometimes he doesn’t even get to check them until he gets home. We still take advantage of every moment we can. I listen to my husband and try to help as much as I can even though I’m almost sure he gets tired of hearing my constant optimism and encouragement. I hold my boys when they miss Daddy and haven’t seen him for a week. We talk about where Daddy is and what he is doing. We get involved as much as we’re allowed. These things have worked for us this far. Some days are good. Some aren’t. We just keep swimming.
A good friend told me that we’re like ducks, graceful and calm above the water while peddling like crazy below the water. I laugh because that correctly describes how I’ve felt. That and, I refuse to dread tomorrow when it’s not here yet, that just sucks the time from today.
I know that when the time comes to move onto the next step, we will have a whole new set of experiences and skills under our belts. We will have learned and grown so much from when we got here. I look forward to that day! I know when it’s here we will be diving head first into the next adventure.
Crystal MacCoy
