Three Words of Being A Military Wife
If I had to round up my six months of being a military spouse in three words it would be: stress, frustration, and pride. I know that I haven’t been a MILSO for very long, and there have been women who have done this for 20+ years, and they are amazing. But I think I have learned something in these six short months.
I seem to hold on to every ounce of stress possible. It’s not that I don’t do things to relieve my stress, I do. I meditate, I’m an artist and create art, I read a lot, and I chill out and watch Youtube to calm down, but I am ALWAYS stressed. Being a military wife doesn’t help this at all. I am constantly stressed out and worried about my husband. The thought of him not doing well on his tests while he’s at technical school sends my anxiety into seriously high levels. Pair this with attempting to plan our first PCS as much as I can without orders, and I am constantly stressed out. I am no stranger to stress, and I have always been very good at dealing with my stress before it becomes too much, but the stress of being a military wife and not knowing what could happen next is a stress that I’ve been struggling with. I’ve learned that it’s okay to struggle with your stress. It’s okay to feel like giving up sometimes because you’re just so stressed out. But remember that the stress isn’t permanent. It’ll eventually change and become a different type of stress, and hopefully that stress will be easier to deal with.
I have also become more frustrated in my last six months as a military spouse than I have in my entire life. To start, I had the hardest time planning the trip to see my husband’s graduation. Some of the friends he invited acted like toddlers and didn’t seem to realize that my husband left it up to me to plan the trip. Then my husband lost family time during his graduation weekend which was incredibly frustrating because I lost time with him. After that, things went okay for awhile. Then it became time for me to enroll in TRICARE and I had the HARDEST time accessing my information for TRICARE and just overall really struggled with it. I’m still kind of struggling with it. Then, when getting my medical clearance forms filled out for my husband and I’s upcoming OCONUS PCS, my doctor found some something concerning with my Thyroid. It feels like it’s been one frustration after another. Military life = frustration. That is something I learned very quickly.
Along with stress and frustration, my sense of pride has skyrocketed since becoming a military wife. I am so incredibly proud of my husband, for doing what everybody told him he shouldn’t. A lot of people told him that he wouldn’t make it, that he wouldn’t succeed. I knew he would. I’m so proud of him. I’m prouder to be his wife than anything else. I have a lot of pride in my marriage. After only eight days of marriage, my husband left for basic, and when he graduated we were even stronger together than before. This gave me the hope that he and I can get through anything. Even with all the stress and frustration, I am proud.
I actually love being a military wife. I love that my husband is finally doing something that he wanted to do, that he’s good at. I love that his confidence (not that he needed it) has boosted since joining the military. I love being a military wife, because I wouldn’t be a wife if my husband hadn’t joined. We wouldn’t have gotten married, and honestly I don’t know if he and I would still be together at this point. Even though there’s a lot of stress and frustration, being a MILSO has made my life wonderful, and I will always be a proud military spouse.
Written by Megan Voegele